Sure, we're keeping busy now. I'm working no fewer than three jobs (two paid, one volunteer) and blogging in addition to job hunting and future planning. It's also important to me that I make time to hang out with my college friends who I won't be seeing as frequently come August and staying in touch with the ones who have already left Ann Arbor.
Despite all that I'm doing now, I can never quite evade the question, "so what are you doing next year?" that follows me everywhere I go. Every neighbor, friend, and family member who doesn't already know my condition asks me this question within moments of saying, "hello."
When my friends and I talk about our futures, it's often with a shrug and an, "I don't know..." followed with a swig of beer. It's an easy enough question to dismiss, especially when you can replace it with questions that have to do with the present: "What do you guys want to do today?" "Where should we get dinner?""Anyone up for a movie later?"
On the occasions when my closest friends and I have really honest conversations, the truth comes out: We're all scared. Not wide-eyed, scream-inducing, pee-in-your-pants scared. That would be a little too dramatic.
However, the thought of the future is scaring the best of us. Many of us, for the first time, are going out into the world financially independent. Many of us are leaving home for the first time. More of us are going back home to "take time off" with or without our tails tucked between our legs. Many of us are about to begin graduate school, law school, or medical school and will find the course loads doubled and the competition more intense. Almost all of us are saying, "goodbye" to most or all of the friends who have become our family over the past four years.
When you count up all these fearful things, I'd almost rather crawl back to bed and pull the covers over my face.
Unfortunately (or luckily, depending on how you spin it), it's much too hot to sleep under all those covers or to stay in bed all day. Instead, the heat pushes us outside to be with friends or inside to coffee shops and computer labs where we're almost forced to continue job hunting and resume building.
Plus, to be honest, I wouldn't have hidden in bed all day anyway. I'm just not that type of girl.
I'm actually looking forward to starting life on my own. I just wish I had a better idea of when and how that might be. I can't tell you what I'll be doing next year because I have no idea. I can't tell you where I'll be for the same reason.
In the midst of all this uncertainty, I often find myself grasping for something (Anything!) solid to hold on to. A little island of stability in the big sea of endless possibilities that is my life.
In a way, I'm finding that island in this blog. No matter what I'm doing or where I'm living, I will continue to bake and blog. I will continue to be baffled and inspired by other food bloggers and I will definitely continue to drool on my keyboard as I spend hours "gawking" at the delicious looking pictures on foodgawker, but I probably shouldn't admit to that last one...
To add one more component of stability that this blog has provided, I can tell you with absolute certainty what I will be doing October 21 of this year. The button over there ——> (top right hand corner) that says, "I'm baking a difference with Frosting for the Cause," will take you to the website where I will be guest posting a recipe for some form of baked goods that I will donate to a Women's Hospital or Cancer Society.
The concept of Frosting for the Cause, is that for every day of the year, one volunteer will post a recipe and donate the baked goods to a Women's Hospital or Cancer Society as well as $25 to the Canadian or American Cancer Society. Every blogger will post a link to the main website on his or her own blog and tweet about it with the goal of raising awareness and inspiring new donations so that more research can be conducted to find a cure for those types of cancer that affect only women.
This hit home for me for two reasons:
- I was once very close with a woman who battled and beat breast cancer before a second attack of the disease killed her
- When I started this blog, I made a promise that some good would come out of it (beyond light entertainment and full bellies) and I intend to keep that promise